Ooooooooh. My head.
Last night - a school night I might add - I had to go to a farewell cocktail party for one of our directors for a couple of hours before heading off to the aforementioned launch of Safari, the fourth book written by a friend of many years and miles.
The sort of night, dear Internets, that one plans for well in advance.
The sort of night, dearest Cyberwebbers, that one understands has to be well-paced and interspersed with much iced water.
The sort of night, darling Bloggles, in which it would be Just.Plain.Stoopid to drink too much, too fast, too soon.
So, naturally, as a responsible professional woman and mother of three with a job to go to the next day, I was as pissed as a cricket before the Prof picked me up from the first function to take me to the second one.
Ooooooooh. Did I mention my head?
How about my eyes?
And the nausea?
Oooooh.
Was it the large bucket of champagne in which I soaked at the cocktail party? Was it the even larger bucket of white wine at the launch? Maybe it was the almost total absence of food?
Hmmmm. Perhaps the Drambuie and the two cigarettes and the drag on the vanilla cigar?
What the fuck is a vanilla cigar, anyway?
Oooh.
So I've abandoned the Sidekicks theme that I had planned for this week's Root Shoot Marry. My sympathies, today, lie with the world of drunks and lushes.
I am a lush, dammit. Out and proud and wincing at bright lights.
Your job now is to pour yourself a large glass of something and consider well: of the male drunks and female lushes below, which will you shoot, which will you shag and which will you marry?
The Drunks
Hunter S Thompson. Legend. Note the glass with ice cubes and (probably) whiskey down near his right foot.
Hunter S quote: I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Oliver Reed. Favourite drink, reputedly, was creme de menthe. Also reported to be rum, scotch, beer and Bloody Marys. Let's assume he liked the lot.
Did you ever see him crash through the set on Parkinson?
Oliver quote: I'm only drinking white wine because I'm on a diet and I don't eat.
Bon Scott. Hard core drunk. Two bottles of bourbon and a handful of pills before every AC/DC gig.
Bon quote: It keeps you fit - the alcohol, nasty women, sweat on stage, bad food - it's all very good for you.
The Lushes
Judy Garland. What a sweetie. Vodka drinker, of course.
Judy quote: If I'm such a legend, why am I so lonely?
Marilyn Monroe. Poor baby, but what a lush! Favourite drink champagne - preferably Dom Perignon 1953, or so they say.
Marilyn quote:What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Janis Joplin. Southern Comfort, as befits a hippie bluesy pin up girl.
I'm adding this pic, just for the Prof. Joke: look away, there's nipplage.
Janis quote: If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time.
EDITED FOR STOMPER GIRL
Seeing Stomper's comment just now I remembered this pic that I didn't post because it has Angus as well as Bon Scott. But if you ever wondered what side Bon dressed to, this should answer your question.
So, I'm off to take another Stemetil with a mug of antioxidant rich White Tea as a chaser.
Party on, dudes: bed 'em, dead 'em and wed 'em. But don't forget to drink a decent amount of water along the way, ok?
mtc
Bec
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