Be warned, RSM could be considered to be one for the fans this week - if you're not in that category you should feel free to indulge in purely carnal judgements with no regard to character development.
Where to start?
You might remember them like this:
or like this:
or you might not remember the Scooby Gang of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at all.
For some of the 1990s and a bit of the Noughties, television viewers of the world could be divided broadly into two categories: those who loved the Buff, and those who had no taste, intellect or sense of humour.
In Australia, thanks to the usual appalling programming decisions on commercial television, there was a third category of those who could have loved the Buff, if only she hadn't been screening at 11.05 on a Monday or Tuesday night.
To them I say PSHAW! That's why we all used to own VCRs, people!
At one stage, the Professor and I were faced with some very tricky VCR programming in order to catch both Buffy and Angel on one channel and West Wing and Six Feet Under on another. It wasn't easy, but we knew it was a dangerous job when we signed up for it and I'm proud to say we both rose to the challenge, week after week - at least until Six Feet got way too neurotic.
Where was Foxtel IQ when we really needed it, hmm?
Now, you either know what I'm talking about, or you don't. It.Doesn't.Matter.
Root Shoot Marry this week gives you eye candy like it's never given before.
If you didn't love the Buff before, maybe, just maybe, you'll think about lovin' her now.
And all her little friends, of course.
The Rules are here.
The official Buffy the Vampire Slayer Wikipedia entry is here.
And this week's game begins right down here:
The Slayer Men
First up:
Xander Harris (Nicholas Brendon). Original Scooby Gang member. Did anyone see him Kitchen Confidential?
By the way, don't expect to be regaled with tasty trivia tidbits like the fact that Nicholas Brendon's identical twin brother would occasionally appear in the Buffy series as his on-screen double. I might know that shit but I'm not willing to look like a complete fucking geek in order to share it.
Next up - take a deep breath ladies:
Angel. Oh Angel. (David Boreanaz). Tha Vampire with a Soul.
Mmmmm. Tall, dark and broody, just how I like 'em.
Last but not least:
Riley Finn (Marc Blucas). Agent of a secret military force, post-grad psych student, all round wishful hunka hunka burning love.
Moving on...
The Slayer Women
Let's start with the witch, shall we?
Ah Willow. Geeky, bookish Willow Rosenberg (Allyson Hannigan). Pictured here in her Hot Lesbian Sorceress phase.
Next, a bit of rough trade:
Faith (Eliza Dushku). The Slayer from the wrong side of the tracks. Liked a good bonk to round off a night of 'dusting vamps'.
I miss Faith.
And finally, finally:
Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer (Sarah Michelle Geller). And what can I say? You gotta love the Buff.
Or do you?
Slip into something slinky and sharpen your stakes, ladies and gentlemen - your choice is now to shag, to shack up or to send into eternal shadow each of these fine characters.
mtc
Bec