Root, Shoot or Marry?

Root Shoot or Marry - A thousand words

Root, shoot or marry tests your imagination a little differently this week.

You can blame Joe.  A bit, at least.  He suggested famous Renaissance figures; I decided to take them two-dimensionally and (because life is too short for Art History fascism - Sister Wendy would agree) be a little loose with the definition of Renaissance.

Not much narrative to go with this lot.  I’m on a deadline for bouillabaisse by midday and I’m not sure I can trust myself to behave around Leda and her swan.   We’re trying out the Typepad thumbnail gallery - one for each gender.  I know I can trust you lot to let me know if it doesn’t work!

 

The Femmes

1. Mona Lisa - inscrutable but rootable?

2. Birth of Venus - she was in the Big Book of Seashells and as a child I worried she was going to fall over

3. Leda and the swan - the Correggio version.  Be warned: googling Leda will take you to a world of soft porn bestiality that you may wish you hadn’t found.

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The Hommes

1. Man.  A little existential, perhaps, but I think you’ll rise to the challenge.  Of course, my Older Man thing actually makes me lean more to the guy on the right... is that a sin?

2. Henry VIII.  The Holbein full-length that shows off those shapely calves of which Hal was so proud.

3. Charles V.  Look closely.  Got it?  Good.

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Off ye go.  Fornicate, spiflicate, set a date.

I’ve got fennel to slice.

mtc

Bec.

In case you didn’t see it - Julie Bishop vs the Garden Gnome

As mentioned in the RSM, there was a special campaign moment (my only memorable one, in fact) when Julie Bishop put her famous Death Stare to the test live on the Chaser’s election special, Yes We Canberra.

Re-presented for your pleasure.

 

mtc, it seems.

 

Bec

Root Shoot or Marry - Federal Election 2010 (the quick and dirty second draft)

Right, you lot.  I have 150 seconds left in my morning to write (rewrite, damn you interwebs) this post and get some tiny shred of online credibility back in my life.  Fortunately, the tragi-comedy of the 2010 Federal Election pretty much writes itself, and as long as I don’t pander to foreigners this time (no backstory here - go Google them if you don’t get it) we might just make it.

 

You know the rules? Of course you do.  And if you don’t, may I again introduce Google, Your Friend for “Root Shoot Marry Rules”.

 

Onward then (90 seconds to go).

 

The Men

Your choices begin with Tony Abbott - the Mad Monk, Mr Budgie Smugglers, Fittest Pollie on the Planet

AND Malcolm Turnbull - the Man who Might Have Been; an extraordinary millionaire climate change believer or just another Liberal?

And finally, of course.  Kevin ’07.  The guy who set the scene for the most presidential campaign we’ve ever had, only to be brought undone because he was perhaps too, well, presidential.

 

The Women (35 seconds - can I make it?)

I couldn’t resist the Woman’s Weekly photo and I give thanks and full credit to whoever took it.  I’m in need of a new mugshot myself, if only we did them like this at work...

And that’s the problem with being the first female prime minister isn’t it? You can never just be the PM, you can never just be a politician.  You have to be the childless one with the invisible hairdresser for a partner.  And if she had kids, and a surgeon husband I contend that that’s still all we would know about her.  (I give you exhibit A - banking CEO Gail Kelly - and no, I don’t have time to add a stupid link, I’ve already wasted five seconds on that stupid rant and I have to get this stupid post finished).

 

Maxine McKew - former star recruit, 2007 giant killer in Bennelong, one-term-wonder.  What do you think?

Finally, Julie Bishop.  I’d have loved to see her take up the LNP leadership - think of the Julie & Julia headlines we could have had!  Deputy Opposition leader and possibly about to be Deputy PM as Julia was before her... Possibly the best non-bottled thing  to come out of WA - did anyone else see her stare=out competition performance on the Chaser’s Yes We Canberra?

 

That’s it, 3 seconds left.

 

Make it worth it folks.  Root ‘em, Shoot ‘em, Marry ‘em and tell your friends.

 

And maybe, if I can do one this fast, there will actually be mtc.

 

Bec