The essence of Root Shoot or Marry is choice.
The harder the better.
And how do the choices become hard?
Through consistent, judicious application of The Rules, which (lucky you!) are very, very simple.
You have only three choices. And when I am feeling very kind, you get to exercise your three choices in each of two genders.
Your first choice is: which one to root. "To root" being an Australian verb meaning "to have sex with", or shag, or bonk, or bed. And yes, unless otherwise specified in the game of the week, you may do so with your eyes closed.
Your second choice is: which one to shoot. This means shoot dead and, in my experience, usually does not present a problem for any but the most feeble-hearted players.
Your third, and FINAL, choice is: which one to marry. Like, 'til death do you part.
Big sigh here.
Now be fair, people, this is where way too many of you are not just spitting on the rules, you are fucking ripping them up and scattering them over the heads of returning sports heroes. And then dancing in the littered gutters.
So let me make it perfectly clear that marriage ALSO means sex. At least once. It's not a legal union otherwise, folks. So yeah, you can focus on the shopping, or the travel, or the big house, or the pretty babies he or she will make if that gets you through ... but at the end of the wedding day you've still got to do the horizontal folk dance, my friends.
Otherwise, you're cheating. And cheating? Is bad*.
mtc
Bec
* As my mother was perhaps overly fond of saying: "they'd shoot you for that in poker."
